Monthly Archives: October 2011

A possible answer to the question: What’s a reverse mortgage?

Robert Wagner for reverse mortgages

From Bob to boiler room?

A few weeks ago I posted a not necessarily rhetorical question about reverse mortgages: specifically, I didn’t get what element of the transaction makes it ”reverse”. I compared it to the term “reverse discrimination” – i.e., discrimination is discrimination regardless who assumes the roles of perpertrator and victim. In that manner, I see “reverse” mortgages as simply mortgages.

Meanwhile, today, my favorite columnist Phil Mushnick cites reverse mortgages as scams targeted at vulnerable seniors, whereby when you sign up to receive more information, you are called incessantly, day and night, and hit with boiler room scam tactics.

So on that note, I think I may have figured out a better name for this particular transaction: a reverse bank robbery. The bank robs you.

On Sergio, on Donald, on Gulbis and Wie (golf roundup)

Sergio Garcia

Dos para dos!

Quick roundup from the world of golf. This is actually my favorite time of year because there are so many events around the world; it’s always fun to see who is playing where. This week there was an event in Shanghai with huge names, the PGA tour was in Malaysia and the European Tour was hosting its second straight event in Spain – both won by the resurgent Sergio Garcia. Bravo, El Nino!

Meanwhile, Luke Donald skipped this weeks event at Kuala Lampur due to his expecting wife. It worked out perfectly for Donald, because he’d already clinched the PGA Tour money title with a victory the previous week. My only comment is this: due to Tigermania, I’m afraid a man-on-the-street poll of goersby would reveal that hardly anyone has even heard of Donald.

On the women’s side: we’ve been seeing Michele Wie lately in both Kia and McDonald’s ads. This, in my opinion, means that she is now the American face of women’s golf, replacing Natalie Gulbis, whom I had dubbed “The Kournakova of golf” – for having so many endorsements, tv appearances and exhibition event invitations yet not possessing a record of high success. Before Wie, I contend that Gulbis was – at least once Annika Sorenstam (Swedish yet well-known in the States) retired – the face (and body) of women’s golf in America. But now Wie clearly holds that title, and, hey, she hasn’t been all that successful either but at least she’s won a couple times.

Cactus wren returns again!

Cactus wren

Wren-ching sound effect

When I first blogged about the misused cactus wren sound effect, even I didn’t realize how often it is misused. Just a day or two after hearing it (misapplied) in a Real Milk ad, I heard it again in some evil twin horror movie on Lifetime, again misapplied – as this time it was used in a sequence shot in the woods somewhere.

Lately it’s less than a 50% chance then when I hear the sound effect, it will be properly deployed; needless to mention it should only appear in desert scenes – deserts with cacti are preferable.

Great Pumpkin still great, but…

Charlie Brown the Great Pumpkin - Linus, Sally and Snoopy Pumpkin Patch scene

Snoopy wasn't the only thing to pop up.

Watched the “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” with the family last week; you know how that goes, we have the DVD but rather than trying to dig it up you may as well watch the annual TV broadcast. As the subject line suggests, it was still great, but not quite as great when pop-up promo ads for “Charlie’s Angels” and “Extreme Makeover” clutter the screen. (At this point, we’ve all become immune to the perpetual network logo that appears in some corner of the screen, so that’s moot.)

Now, this next remark will be the equivalent of applauding a baseball player for running hard to first base, something that should happen all the time but so seldom does anymore that we point it out only when it happens. On that note, I’m actually going to give ABC some credit for not overdoing the pop-up promos. By my unofficial count, only three promos appeared – all for brief periods and all at the beginning of sequences (after the title sequence, then twice immediately following commercial breaks). I point this out because my (least) favorite example of a classic being marred by pop-up promos is the annual TBS showings of “The Wizard of Oz”.

For the last two years I’ve been tracking the preponderance of annoying promo graphics that seemed to present themselves at inopportune times. Two years ago, it was George Lopez whose head popped up on the Yellow Brick Road, obstructing the view of the dance steps of Dorothy and her friends as they headed for the Emerald City.

Last year, just as Dorothy and company appeared at the front door of the Wizard’s palace, a fifth character appeared. It was Conan O’Brien, apparently there to ask the Wizard for a high-rated talk show.

We’re only a few weeks away from this year’s TBS ”Wizard of Oz” showings. So who will distract our attention this year? Well, if the just-past Major League Baseball playoffs on TBS are any indication, it would appear that Conan will be back for an encore. Maybe this year he should pop up alongside the Lollipop Guild representatives of Munchkinland. That would seem fitting.

Now, back to Charlie Brown. A few years back I purchased the holiday special DVD collection. I am always intrigued by the chronology of events, so I noticed that the Christmas special was the first to air, in 1965. The following Fall, the Halloween special appeared. I noticed that the Woodstock character hadn’t been created yet. He appears in the Thanksgiving special, which, to my surprise, did not air until 7 years after the Halloween special.

So I just did a search and took a look at the primetime specials chronology of Charlie Brown series. I had just told my daughter that The Great Pumpkin was the second in the series, but I was wrong. “Charlie Brown’s All Stars” appeared in June of 1966, making The Great Pumpkin the third Peanuts special. The Thanksgiving special was the tenth overall. Even “You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown” (8th special), which was shown on ABC after The Great Pumpkin, preceded the Thanksgiving show. That one, which was notable for the Snoopy “Joe Cool” sequence, aired just a week before the 1972 election – the overwhelming re-election of President Richard Nixon.

Two others I enjoyed were “It’s Arbor Day, Charlie Brown” – with the classic baseball scenes and “It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown.”

But looking at the entire lineup of specials, they eventually jumped the shark with “Flashbeagle” (yes, based on Flashdance), as well as, “Snoopy’s Getting Married, Charlie Brown” and “Snoopy: The Musical”. Can’t say I saw any of those.

By the way, this is the second straight year I watched Great Pumpkin and found myself compelled – though somewhat perplexed – by the whole Snoopy World War I flying ace sequence. He is shot down and forced to fend for himself as he traverses the French countryside on foot, with that surreal flute music accompanying his sojourn. The effect was positively eerie. Snoopy had quite the vivid imagination for a canine, thanks to Charles M. Schultz.

Anyway, I hope you had a chance to catch The Great Pumpkin this year…. you blockheads!

(“Blockhead”: now there’s a put-down we haven’t heard since the Peanuts specials. Sally exclaims it three times during her heartwarming “I was robbed” diatribe in the pumpkin patch. Stream of consciousness note: I’ve posted before that I used to enjoy watching Match Game reruns as a time capsule on figures of speech, famous people and other phenomena reflective of the period in which occurred the show’s heyday, throughout the 1970s. Now imagine this celebrity match clue: Blank-Head. You think back then anyone would’ve suggested “Block” as an answer? Because they sure wouldn’t today, and that’s tragic. It’s a great putdown. Let’s all start a movement to bring it back to the lexicon.)

Christmas in October at your local stores

Home Depot Christmas display

59 shopping days left! Get moving, people!

Why was it that a few weeks ago I went to the Home Depot looking for Halloween decorations and already the store contained a massive Christmas section? It’s a sign of the economic times indeed. They want to get you thinking about Christmas this early so you’ll start saving up for your annual spree. Can’t help but wonder if Home Depot ultimately shot itself in the foot by relinquishing potential Halloween sales by consuming floor space for Christmas stuff. The Christmas decorations were prominently displayed in the front of the store and I could not find any Halloween paraphanalia. Target, on the other hand, had both. Probably a good move.

The “mother” of all subsidies: diapers

Pampers box image

Pampered by government

The line of the day today came from the venerable Wayne Rogers on Fox News’ Cashin’ In – part of their Saturday business block. He said of the new government subsidy for diapers (paraphrasing):

“We take care of them on one end with food stamps and then on the back end with diapers.”

Good one, Trap.

Incidentally, a couple weeks ago during Cashin’ In they showed a still picture of Rogers from the classic movie “Cool Hand Luke”. I recall having seen at least some of that film many years ago but I didn’t realize Rogers was in the cast (and prison crew). That was a full 5 years before he played Trapper John McIntyre on M*A*S*H. He was always my favorite M*A*S*H character, by the way. (See pics below.)

Then….

Wayne Rogers Cool Hand Luke

Cool Hand Luke, 1967

Now…

Wayne Rogers and Jonathan Hoenig Cashin In Fox News

Cashin In - Fox News, present day

Rangers 2011, meet Red Sox 1986.

Bill Buckner Boston Red Sox 1986 World Series Game 6

He feels Rangers pain.

Rangers fans must feel somewhat like the Red Sox fans felt in 1986. One out away in Game 6 from winning the World Series, a 2-run lead, 10th inning, on the road; many similarities. The biggest difference would be there wasn’t a 9th inning Buckner moment per se; nonetheless it had to be gut-wrenching. The other difference is that the Rangers were one out away from winning not once but twice. A two-run lead in the 9th and again in the 10th… squandered.

Another similarity to the Mets-Red Sox ’86 series: everyone remembers Game 6 of that series but no one remembers Game 7 (there was actually a rain-out that postponed the Sox fans’ agony one day). That will also be the case with this year’s series. They’ll be talking about Game 6 forever, but despite a strong performance from Cardinals ace Chris Carpenter, Game 7 will soon be forgotten; i.e., anticlimactic.

So for now, the apt comparison is of this year’s Rangers to the ’86 Sox. We should also take note that the Rangers are now halfway to becoming the 1990-93 Buffalo Bills. (Off the top of my head I can’t think of the last major professional sports team to lose even two championship games/series in a row. I’ll have to ponder that one.)

The cactus wren streak is over already.

Cactus wren

Please Wrenpresent properly!

It didn’t last long. The abridged streak of two consecutive properly-used cactus wren sound effects - the effect that I consider the most misapplied in television and movies – came to an abrupt end at the unveiling of a Real Milk ad where cavemen sit in a mountainous grassy area drinking milk from stones as we hear the call of a cactus wren in the background. Typically this sound effect is incorrectly deployed in jungle and forest scenes as well. But those of us who spend a lot of time in desert regions know better.

As a refresher, the two consecutive properly-used wren effects that I witnessed were as follows: First, in the DVD release of “Everything Must Go” starring Will Ferrell, which was set in Phoenix; second, in a Nevada desert sequence (though there were no cactus around, it was close enough) on a recent CSI episode.

But sadly, it was too good to be true. I’ll be continuing the wren-tracking; we’ll see the next time I stumble on to the effect whether it will be properly used. Place your bets.

Win or lose: Rangers prove there’s no World Series loser jinx.

Texas Rangers team celebration

Back where they belong

You may be quite familiar with the Super Bowl loser jinx, whereby the team that loses the Super Bowl proceeds to have a terrible subsequent season. In recent years, the abyssmal seasons of the Raiders, Falcons and Seahawks following their Super Bowl defeats instantly spring to mind. Even this season when the Steelers got off to a slow start there were rumblings that the Super Bowl loser was facing the typical plight. However, the Steelers have recovered nicely and are now defying the supposed jinx.

There doesn’t appear to be a corollary World Series loser jinx. The Rangers lost last year and they’re right back in the Series again with a chance to take the next step tonight – although they let a chance to take that step get away last night. Still, just getting this far shows there was no loser jinx in effect. In the prior year, the Phillies lost the Series and made it back to the NLCS the following year. The Rays, to be fair, did suffer a down season following their Series loss to the Phillies the previous year.

I would suggest that the short NFL season and the propensity for major injuries to quarterbacks (like Rich Gannon and Matt Hasselbeck, for example) would explain the Super Bowl loser phenomenon, whereas baseball teams play a 162-game season where the better teams are more likely to succeed. I’m a Yankee fan but I’ll be pulling the Rangers and Nolan Ryan tonight.

Thank you, Fox.

FOX TV Logo

Crazy like a...

Thank you, Fox, for showing us a replay during last night’s World Series game of Tony LaRussa reacting to a mistake of one of his players which included LaRussa exclaiming, “God damn” and “Jesus Christ!”.

And thank you also, Fox, for deciding that, while the Rangers’ Mike Napoli was in the midst of attempting to walk off a brutal ankle turn after sliding into second base, it was a perfect time to pop up a graphic to remind us that “Fringe” appears on some night at whatever time.